A male elephant's penis is so big that the animal can actually use it as its fifth leg, with their phallus able to grow up to 150 centimetres (59 inches). Additionally, it is very useful when you need to shoo away some nosy flies or, say, scratch your belly.
These and other useful features come along with something that is not even the biggest penis in the animal world.
In fact, the male elephant occupies second place in this chart, which is led by the blue whale, who has the largest penis in the animal kingdom, with an average one measuring 2.5 metres (8 foot 2 inches).
Among the animal record holders in the area are also some deepwater squid, some of which are the proud owners of a penis as long as their bodies. Sometimes, their erect phallus can be twice as long as their body - one such squid was recorded to have a penis of 68 centimetres (26 inches) while the length of its body was just 38 centimetres (14.9 inches).
When (or if) you think of possible record holders among vertebrates, ducks most likely don't spring to mind. Yet, there is a certain species of duck that has the largest penis among vertebrates: the Argentine duck. Like some squid, its average penis length is 40 centimetres (15.7 inches) while its body is some 20 centimetres (7.8 inches).
One may wonder how are these ducks even able to move. It turns out their phallus is...spiralled, as is the vagina of female ducks.
Aside from the aforementioned species, there was an animal known as an ostracod, with its name Colymbosathon ecplecticos translated as "wondrous swimmer with a large penis". Its ratio of penis length to body length is 5:1 - something that impressed archaeologists a lot when they discovered the remains of this already exctinct animal.
Sea acorns, for their part, are able to change the size of their genitalia depending on the environment. They have the largest ratio of penis length to body length, which can reach up to 40:1 in some cases.
While some individuals may find themselves feeling somewhat envious, one still has to keep in mind that the animals mentioned above were given their sizes by nature mainly for survival and procreation.