In the fiscal year of fear, from April 2022 to April 2023, Americans threw a whopping $11 billion at survival gear, proving that so-called 'doomsday prepping' has moved from the backyards of the paranoid to the Pinterest boards of mainstream America.
A third of the population now proudly wears the prepper badge, although their efforts pale in comparison to those of the world's billionaires.
These folks aren't just stocking up on canned beans; they're dropping hundreds of millions on bunkers that could rival a luxury resort, private islands that James Bond villains would envy, and "survival condos" that make you question if they're prepping for the apocalypse or planning the world's most exclusive underground party.
According to a Mail on Sunday report, Mark Zuckerberg, for example, decided a simple Hawaiian island retreat wasn't enough, opting instead for a $100 million bunker completed with all the trimmings of a post-apocalyptic luxury resort.
Meanwhile, Idaho's wealthiest man, Frank VanderSloot, bought a 2,000-acre ranch presumably because when the end times come, he'll at least have enough space to jog. And then there's the Silicon Valley bromance of Sam Altman (CEO of OpenAI) and Peter Thiel (ex-CEO of PayPal), who've pinky-sworn to crash at Thiel's New Zealand pad if Twitter goes down permanently.
The appeal of New Zealand as the billionaire's bunker of choice might have something to do with its scenic beauty, which is ironic considering these hideouts are designed for a world where the only scenery might be a radioactive glow.
The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists might as well rename their Doomsday Clock to "Time Until Billionaires Become Mole People," having set it at a nerve-wracking 90 seconds to midnight.
As we watch billionaires preparing to live out their days in comfort underground, one has to wonder if they've considered the simpler pleasures in life, like, say, using their fortunes to help fix some of the issues leading us to doomsday in the first place. But hey, who needs global solutions when you've got a luxury bunker with a view?