As the coronavirus crisis rages on, with most of the world currently locked indoors, and all retail and other businesses with minor exceptions going full-on online, concerns have arisen about how to best ease one’s tensions, physically speaking.
For many, as Twitter suggests under an especially devised hashtag, #safesextipsduringquarantine, social distancing means sexual distancing, with one calling to “get to know yourself fluently” as the most viable sexual option:
Y'all having sex with other people during the #coronavirus .....you have to be sexually distant as well as socially distant....it is time to masturbate and get to know yourself fluently!!!!#SafeSexTipsDuringQuarantine pic.twitter.com/VNrAiVA7Sf
— Ant Sky (@kyhttsa) March 28, 2020
…while another speculated on how babies would soon be technically conceived:
#SafeSexTipsDuringQuarantine no more sex. This is how babies are born in the future. pic.twitter.com/Xo08FTPkSF
— ♫ Adriano&Paulina ♫ (@keet0007) March 28, 2020
“Even in a pandemic, abstinence remains unbeatable", a third stated citing the respective biblical teaching:
#SafeSexTipsDuringQuarantine
— Gabriel Hughes (@Pastor_Gabe) March 28, 2020
Hey, guess what? Even in a pandemic, abstinence remains unbeatable.
Do not have sex outside of marriage, for God created sex to be enjoyed only between a man and his wife.
Some posted a “coronasutra” image, showing sex positions that can in theory be viewed as acceptable during the epidemic - namely those that involve appropriate facial distancing, whereas a few suggested hand hygiene should also be up to the mark:
#SafeSexTipsDuringQuarantine
— Juanita K. Chambliss 🇱🇷 (@JuanitaKChambl1) March 28, 2020
Wash your hands thoroughly for at least 20 seconds before and after #SafeSexTipsDuringQuarantine pic.twitter.com/P6XsjFCawl
“…only hands?” one wondered incredulously.
"Hand sanitizer and lube should occupy the same type of bottle", another waded in, with many sharing similar tips…and side-slitting memes:
#SafeSexTipsDuringQuarantine
— Osirian11 (@Osirian111) March 28, 2020
Make sure you sanitize your rubber ....ducky pic.twitter.com/WI0ErwiAYV
Hand sanitizer and lube should occupy the same type of bottle. #SafeSexTipsDuringQuarantine pic.twitter.com/lTh1xv0kTx
— shes whitty, shitty, and a little pretty (@deK8sam) March 28, 2020
One in the meantime cheekily suggested another use for sanitisers by way of a life hack.
“Safe sex is no sex", another posted along with a laughable pic:
Safe sex is no sex. #SafeSexTipsDuringQuarantine pic.twitter.com/R0dZ65w5IB
— Eden’s Garden 🌘🌗🌖🌕🌔🌓🌒🌑 (@iamlucypher) March 28, 2020
One even attempted to sum up advice from the point of view of gender, with some, in the meantime, admitting they were checking out the hashtag despite being alone for the pandemic stint:
@ me clicking this hashtag to peep whats going on knowing damn well im alone for this whole quarantine trip #SafeSexTipsDuringQuarantine pic.twitter.com/VtwIZZs5Fg
— Jemh🤘 (@NoTimeForThe) March 28, 2020
There were those quick to even offer their services: one, for instance, promised that ecstasy is just a phone call away...
Call me. #SafeSexTipsDuringQuarantine pic.twitter.com/vTgo0uDoVC
— Savannah's Secret (@SavannahsTwit) March 28, 2020
…while some asserted there is nothing to worry about as long as “you keep yourself covered” sharing a hilarious clip from an old movie:
According to worldometers.info, the total number of coronavirus cases has to date climbed to 601,520 worldwide, with as many as 27,441 deaths registered overall, most of them (around 9,100) in Italy, the country hit the most by the novel virus.