An exhaustive new US report on personal grooming of the pubic area has revealed that, while an estimated 67 percent of men and just over 85 percent of women in America shave their pubic hair, over a quarter of those reported injuring themselves in the process.
How hard can it be, you ask? Rule number one: always shave sober, people.
The new report — a deep dive into a sensitive area — was published in the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA), a peer-reviewed medical bulletin published frequently by the august American Medical Association.
The report revealed that an alarming 26 percent of Americans who kept their pubic areas free of hair told of incidents in which they had "at least one injury" in the process.
"Three per cent of the time [adults] are coming into the emergency department with a genitourinary injury," according to Benjamin Breyer, a urologist and co-author of the study, cited by the Guardian.
Those emergency room visits are frequently the result of "a grooming injury," added Breyer.
Of those who shaved themselves unsuccessfully, 1.4 percent experienced injuries that were said to be severe enough to require medical attention.
Study results also showed that just 4 percent of those that shave their pubes use the services of waxing salon professionals and just 9 percent of those who keep themselves smooth have their partners do it for them.
Injuries sustained in the depilation process included cuts — at some 61 percent of pubic shaving accidents — and burns from chemical hair-removal creams — at 23 percent of injuries.
An additional 2.5 percent claimed that surgery was required to drain abscesses.
But the cultural antecedents are inescapable, and increasing numbers of normally responsible adults have found themselves gouged, gored, or otherwise unglorified, and all for sake of that clean feeling inculcated by the advertisers of a thousand hygiene products.
Cooks will tell you that a sharp blades cut cleanest. Replace your razors often, and for heaven's sake have someone who knows what they're doing teach you the right way.
Stay safe out there, friends.
