It was easy!
I just waited for the winning numbers to be announced and then interpreted them as a clear win for me, even though they bore no resemblance to the numbers I had on my ticket!
I learned the tactic from Alastair Campbell!
However, the EU elections were not a lottery it was a democratic vote and Nigel Farage and his Brexit party were clear winners to all until the "war criminal" Blair's spin doctor got involved.
Mind you it was pretty easy to convince the Bloated Broadcasting Corporation as they had been spitting feathers all night as it became evident that Farage was winning and they did their best to ignore it and kept on leading on the fact that the Lib Dems were doing so well.
The way Alastair calculated that more people had voted to remain than leave was not exactly of Steven Hawking quality but more like an end of the pier magician past his prime.
Perhaps Alistair was being aided and abetted by that mathematical genius Dianne Abbot and her abacus. All he did was combine the numbers of all the losing parties and pretend that the Conservatives were not backing Leave which of course was a bare faced lie.
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The Muppets at the BBC, then all the other biased MSM broadcasters fell for it and repeated the ludicrous claim culminating in Nigel Farage losing his rag with Charlotte Hawkins on GMB and calling it "utter tosh."
I would love to know what he made of lefty Channel 4 news who based their whole programme on this pernicious lie last night. As a few wags on Twitter have pointed out this is like saying Manchester city did not win the Premier this year as we have had added up all the points of those who finished beneath them.
As Conservative commentator and LBC presenter Iain Dale tweeted, "The Brexit Party came top in 9 of 12 regions. It got the most votes — 32%. It got the most seats — 29. It came top in 90% of council areas in Eng./Wales What part of that don't some people get?"
As I predicted in my previous column, Nigel is now firmly in charge of the Conservative party leadership campaign and there is no chance of anyone becoming leader of what is left of that party after their worst result in 200 years, on a remain ticket. Every one of these mediocre candidates will have to consider how their proposals are going to play out with the F Factor. In effect Farage is now the Simon Cowell of politics!
It is clear that we are going to be leaving this corrupt institution on WTO terms unless the EU re-open negotiations which they say they will not. And do you know what, I and 17.4 million others at least are quite happy with that.
The poll result was a damning indictment of the political elite and their utter incompetence at delivering what we voted for three years ago.
The whole miserable mob on the green benches of the swamp have let us down and betrayed us.
For God's sake people even voted for the Lib Dems to express their dissatisfaction and it was pure comedy gold to see Vince ‘Unable' boast on Channel 4 that they were back! They were losers again of course and will soon become irrelevant again as they wish to remain in the EU. Vince is like a funeral planning salesman trying to sell a plan to someone who has already died.
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But do you know what, the Elite still don't get it. They have one last chance to pick someone with a pair of the proverbial and then get behind them and force through the will of the people but here's is my next prediction, hell will freeze over before that happens and they listen to us.
So, the circus rolls on and Peterborough on June 6 becomes the next big date and is a byelection that Farage and the Brexit Party must and will win.
Peterborough represents the corrupt self-serving elite to a tee.
This election is only happening because of the lies and crime of uber-self-server Fiona Onasanya who lied to the police about her speeding ticket, she like other MPs in the past clearly thought she was above the law and indeed that the law was only for the ‘little people.'
Nigel Farage has put up a brilliant candidate for Peterborough in the shape of Mike Greene. He is a self-made man who was born in Luton and moved to Peterborough when he was 11. He built up a highly successful business and in 2015 he bought the My local chain of shops from Morrisons for 25 million so he certainly knows the art of the deal. His life story is a real rags to riches tale and should be very attractive to the voters of Peterborough. The seat was always a Tory one until the lying Fiona won it for Labour in 2017.
With the state of the two parties after Thursday's EU poll Mike Greene should win it easy and it is vital for Nigel and the Brexit party that he does, so that they can maintain momentum. It is clear there is only one way out of this political mess that the mainstream parties have created and that is a general election and that is coming sooner rather than later.
Nigel has put the self-servers on notice stating that if we are not out by October 1 he will fight the general election but I am pretty sure that the election will come much sooner than that. Because the EU betrayal has not been solved or disappeared as a result of Nigel's tsunami of a triumph on Thursday and it will not be solved by whoever takes over the Tory party or Number 10.
The elite know this, so fasten your seat belts and get your Souwester on as the proverbial will now begin to fly at Farage, Mike Greene and the Brexit party.
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Watch out for the smears about the funding of the Party. Which by the way started on election night when the BBC allowed dodgy dossier Alastair Campbell to talk about roubles in the interview with Brexit party chairman Richard Tice within seconds of him winning his EU seat. Tice quite rightly demanded a retraction and apology live on air which Campbell refused to give and the BBC did not press for.
This was but just another example of their clear bias.
So, expect more stories that Putin has personally directed the Brexit Party strategy or that Trump has his hand on the tiller!
Of course, it will all be BS and ludicrous but the most galling thing is it is us, the licence fee payer, who will be funding this drivel from the BBC and Channel 4 News. They keep demanding to know what will be in the Brexit Party manifesto or policy platform when it is released, well I am pretty sure it will include the reform of the BBC and the scrapping of the licence fee and also the abolition of the House of Lords along with the scrapping of Hs2. It will not make for easy bedtime reading for the Elite of Westminster and their chums in the MSM but the public will love it.
However, for all that to happen the Brexit party must win Peterborough and win it convincingly. Nigel Farage is playing down their chances and I understand why but every true Patriot should be hoping and praying he pulls it off.
Of course, we must also hope and pray that Alistair Campbell is not counting the votes!
The views and opinions expressed in this article are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Sputnik