Archaeologists Discover Ancient Wooden Penis That May Be a Rare 2,000-Year-Old Sex Toy

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Man jeans  - Sputnik International, 1920, 22.02.2023
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Archaeologists are shocked to find that a 2,000-year-old phallic-shaped wooden tool could actually be the first known Roman wooden dildo. The ancient sex toy was first discovered in 1992 during an excavation at the Roman fort of Vindolanda in Northumberland. Archeologists initially classified it as a tool used for sewing.
An ancient phallic-shaped tool first classified as a tool for darning could actually be a seven-inch (17 centimeter) sex toy used by the Roman occupiers of Great Britain, according to a new analysis of the object conducted by academics from Newcastle University and University College Dublin.
While stone and metal “phalli are known from across the Roman world” this is the first example of a Roman wooden phallus, authors detailed in their study.
According to researchers the ancient object could have also served its purpose as a good luck charm, as phallic images were a common symbol of luck during that period. It also could have been used for culinary or medicinal uses to grind ingredients while instilling medicine or food with good luck.
But this phallus is different from others, the authors explain, as it is “life-size” and disembodied, while its smooth edges suggest it was used domestically for intimate purposes. The naughty object was found in a refuse ditch used in the second century CE, meaning it was probably thrown away after it was used.
“I have to confess, part of me thinks it’s kind of self-evident that it is a penis,” said Rob Collins, an archaeologist at Newcastle University who co-authored the paper. “We know ancient Romans and Greeks used sexual implements. This object from Vindolanda could be an example of one.”

“The size of the phallus and the fact it was carved from wood raises a number of questions,” Collins added. The authors of the paper conclude that no definitive use for the object can be ruled upon, however they note its earlier incorrect classification was a fault of researchers who, at the time, didn’t wish to see the object as a less than wholesome relic.

“The history of sex toys has received limited academic attention,” write the study authors. “We can assume, however, that such objects existed in other past societies, and this is strongly supported in texts and artistic representations from the Graeco-Roman world.”
“We hope to have prompted the search for similar objects elsewhere and encouraged their meaningful incorporation into narratives of the past," the authors write.
“That is the most exciting and intriguing possibility,” said Collins, who admits that he is hopeful that it is in fact, a sex toy. “If that is the case it would be, to our knowledge, the first Roman dildo that’s been encountered from archaeology.”
The group's findings were published in the journal Antiquity.
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